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My Letter to Saint Nicholas - 2023

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 My Dearest St. Nicholas, Her gift to me was one that came clutched in her tiny hand but, directly from her heart. She is eight years old and the artificial flower was white. Some stains from age were there, trying to hide beneath the dust. Dust that had long settled in on the fabric that formed the tired petals into a rose. A perfect rose, I’m sure she thought.  I held back tears as I hugged her and wondered if she’d truly ever know how much her heart touched mine that day (and how hard it was for me not to cry). I thanked her, though it was tough to talk around the lump that had formed in my throat.  My children are grown now. They’re not eight years old, or even twice that anymore, and I often find myself wandering back in time to visit the eight year olds they once were. Those days seem as far away as the stars that pierce the midnight sky.  I miss so much from when they were younger but, I am grateful and blessed they have had the chance to grow up. They are figuring out the life
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My Letter to St. Nicholas - 2022

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 My Dearest St. Nicholas, Writing to you, this year, has been a slow process. I have so much on my mind and each time I sit down to push my pencil across the paper, my thoughts stall. Trying to find a sense of peacefulness among all the external (and often internal) unrest has been a frustrating challenge.  So, I will try to disconnect from the noise, if only for a moment, and pray my pencil can release some magic. Though, I will admit it is not magic that crafts a heartfelt letter or, places the ornaments of treasured memories on my tree or, even lights the Christmas candles that bring the holiday glow to the room. It’s more about believing that the words, and the memories, and the flame are there waiting to be more important than the storms that can dim my shine.  I am an avid believer in the spirit of the season. That it brings hope to those who have sunk into sadness and disparity. I believe in not only finding my own peaceful moments but, that I am able to help others whose spirit
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My Letter to Saint Nicholas - 2021

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 My Dearest St. Nicholas, I have sat down several times this season to write to you. Each time, my flustered thoughts lead my pencil across the page in a flurry of rantings instead of asking for blessings or being grateful for the ones already entrusted to me. Perhaps, I need to put my discontent in writing, crumple the paper and, toss it away. There are better ways than staying stuck and, for certain, there's an ache stuck in the heart of the world begging for relief. So, Santa, maybe a Band-Aid, or something that holds us all together would be a healing blessing. My thoughts race with the rush to keep up with the pace of the season and I need to remember to slow down. That reminder is often found in the glowing lights and the scent of pine as I gently place family memories, one ornament at a time, on the sturdy branches of my tree. It is that peaceful pause that grounds me. Sometimes, the needles fall in a quiet song. Its verses rustle and breathe a poignant whisper that life is
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My Letter to St. Nicholas 2020

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 My Dearest St. Nicholas, It’s Christmas Eve and I know I’m writing to you a little late but, my words are hard to find this year. My thoughts are scattered and scrambled. Much like how this year has been, I find it difficult to weave my words into a beautiful tapestry or paint a pretty landscape that wraps us in the comforts we once shared; blessed with family and food, laughter and loving embraces.  Santa, if you would remind me, perhaps nudge me gently, to look a little harder and to dig a bit deeper to uncover the joy. I know it’s there but, my eyes sometimes tear up and lose focus and my arms are tired. They’re tired from trying to carry the weight this year has dumped on the world. The uncertainty so many are facing hurts my heart and I wonder...are there enough prayers being said? Is it time to shout them loudly or, continue to kneel and whisper with my head boughed and my heart believing in the power of their words?  As I sit, once again in the glow of soft light from the tiny
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My Letter to St. Nicholas - 2019

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My Dearest St. Nicholas, Another year has come and as I sit near my Christmas tree to pen my letter, I find there isn't much  you haven't guided me through already. There is still much for me to learn so, I will be ever grateful if you'd continued to hold my hand while I stumble along. My tree, for many years now, stands proudly in the same cozy place. Each year new ornaments are added and they represent the special events and milestones that have happened during the year. My hands, that were once young, look much older as I watch them place family memories on the branches. But, my heart is content to know that old hands simply mean I have had many years with my family to collect those treasures. Some memories glow in the warmth of the lights. Others bend the branches with their weight but, the boughs are flexible, even strong, under the heavy burden. I suppose, Santa, this is your way of letting me know how important flexibility is when the weight and worries want
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My Letter to St. Nicholas - 2018

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My Dearest St. Nicholas, I am here again, my living room glows in the soft light of my Christmas tree; the warmth wrapped around me like a favorite blanket and I am blessed to have the comforts of my home and my family. I can smell the pine and, memories of my childhood sneak up and surprise me. My mind drifts back to where I grew up; my home town by the shore, and I hear the coins jingle. My father has one hand in his pocket where he keeps his spare coins and the other holds my own tiny, mittened hand as we walk the path in search of the tree which will sparkle just for Santa. I try to copy him and walk with strides longer than my legs; my feet, that could never fill his shoes, point out just a bit.  It's cold and our exhaled breaths of frozen vapor linger for a moment like an angel briefly visiting before taking flight to its heavenly home. It's dark but, the dim bulbs strung low over the path keeps the shadows at bay and my hand held tightly in my father's own reassur
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Christmas 2016 - Dear St. Nicholas

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My Dearest St. Nicholas, Each year, I thoughtfully pen my letters to ask for my Christmas wishes. I also enjoy letting you know I am at peace and I do feel the joy this time of year brings. There are moments, though, when I miss those I loved and want heaven just a little closer to home. But, I will trust as to why Angels were given wings. Santa, this year I will ask for understanding. I have realized many often suffer, sometimes in silence, with profound heartache during this season. Their sorrows are etched into hearts that have broken. Their tears, held back, are locked away behind eyes that smile but without the joy that can make them sparkle. Would you mind, Santa, asking others to understand and be patient and loving? It may be the kindest gift given to someone who's sad. Their reason for sadness is uniquely their own. Perhaps loved ones will not be touched, their hands not held in grace at Christmas dinner. Little ones without a lap, in which to nestle, on Grandpa'
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