Karen Loftis Rankowitz

This week the world lost a beautiful woman, a sister, and a daughter. Two children lost their mother. A husband lost his wife. And the families and friends of Karen Houle will mourn, her life taken so unexpectedly. A sudden devastating loss will break the dam and flood us with emotions that we have no idea where they came from, or why, now, we are experiencing them. We will all grieve in different ways, and that is normal and healthy. In order to get past things, we have to travel through them. We will cry, we will feel anger, sadness…and in many ways we will each feel a touch of guilt. ‘Guilt’s’ cunning and manipulative finger will tap our shoulder and want our attention. Know that it is ok to forgive yourself. Forgiveness means moving forward and Karen would want nothing less from anyone. To hoard unhealthy thoughts and emotions in the heart can make a mess. That which is not helpful, needs to be recognized, sorted out, and then, eventually, put to rest. Sadly, we are not ...

The newsletter from school that came home in Noah’s backpack featured a duck reading a book entitled ‘Silly Stories.’ I like silly, it’s what I write about. I started reading. The first column “Where’s Your Funny Bone?” asked what makes your child laugh. Funny noises, being tickled, or maybe a funny picture; nowhere did it mention jumping off the roof of the shed with cardboard attached to arms to see if people can actually fly. So, I moved on. The next column, “Attention All Shoppers” drew me in. I’m the shopping editor for a publication I write for. Surely, this will help me with my next edition. Take your child grocery shopping, it read. I gasped so loudly that the cat fled the room. I’d rather have my eyelids stapled to my brow. As one who loves a good challenge, or simply a kick in the pants, I took my boys shopping. Actually, I take them shopping often, though not my choice; it is what a mom must endure. I thought about the newsletter’s advice and decided it was time for ...

Breast cancer is the most common form of cancer for women and about 46,000 women will fall victim to it each year. Mammograms can cut this statistic by 30 percent. By now, my family, friends, and Facebook buddies are probably so tired of hearing and reading my relentless promotion of breast cancer awareness. I can understand that. I am an extremely persistent person. They see my name – usually attached to it is a pink ribbon – and they probably want to tie the thing around my neck to silence me…and these are my relatives, my friends…I can’t imagine what my acquaintances are wanting to do. Here is why I continue my faithful mission…50% of women in America do not get an annual mammogram. That is a staggering percentage. From Susan G. Komen for the Cure, and you can read the full article here http://ww5.komen.org/Content.aspx?id=6442452934 , “Average annual mammography rates were as follows: 47% for women aged 40 to 49 years, 54% for women aged 50 to 64, and 45% for women aged 65...

Of all the months in the year October bombards us with everything pink. We see pink ribbons on shirts, hats, and shoes; there are posters, billboards, pink bras, and boxing gloves telling us to ‘fight like a girl’. It can be overwhelming. Maybe some are tired of seeing and hearing about it. I was tired too. Tired of my breasts being poked, pushed, and squished. They were scrutinized then analyzed, and, YES, they were victimized…by cancer. To add to the list, not only did I have my general practitioner and gynecologist; I now had a radiologist and an oncologist. When visiting my dentist, I immediately began to slip my arms through their sleeves and I looked around for the gown – ‘with the opening in the front, please.’ My breasts were no longer private and I began to think of them as extra elbows, or knees, body parts that I didn’t mind showing to everyone in the eastern half of Connecticut, which made me thankful that I didn’t live in a big state, like Texas or Alaska. And then it...

While I love to weave humor into my writing, what you will read is serious and on an extremely personal level. Way back, when I was about to turn 40, I asked for a hysterectomy for my birthday. What I got instead was a mammogram. And every year after, on my birthday, I got another. In December of 2008 I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I had a lump in my left breast. This lump had been there for a while; my doctor informed me it was a fibro adenoma. Basically, a mass that is benign (non-cancerous). He left the option of having it removed to me. While it was not bothersome when I first discover it, after some time I noticed it was becoming tender and decided to have it removed. Behind this non-cancerous lump was a tumor… and it was cancer. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month but so many of us are aware of this disease every month and literally every day. Maybe that’s because we know someone who had or has cancer. Let me put this in a different perspective. Do you know ei...

The summer is ending. The next few weeks will be spent buying backpacks, lunch boxes, new underwear, and socks, a bazillion pencils, erasers, and renegotiating a proper bedtime. A fresh start to the new school year, where Christian begins ninth grade and Noah is now a Junior High School student in the sixth grade. I knew they are ready. The monotony of having spent too much time together was leading to disagreements and sighs powerful enough to blow the neglected dust off the furniture. I was ready too. I looked forward to having time for myself to catch up on what housework was abandoned over the summer for the sake of fun day trips, sleepovers, and pool parties. Every year when ‘back to school’ time sneaks up on stealthy feet, I think back to when my boys were younger and to previous mornings getting them off to their first day back. I could sense their excitement, though it was mixed with some apprehension. I packed lunches and included a note for each to read. While I load...

Recently, while I was on my way to someplace (I can’t remember where, but that’s another story), I looked out my car’s window and saw the driver of the car in front of me talking on her cell phone. Apparently, this person is from a different America where cell phone usage and driving, at the SAME time, is acceptable behavior. I would have bet that she’s the kind of person who talks and eats (probably while driving) at the same time. However, I doubt that she breathes and thinks simultaneously. People probably tell her, “You know the minute you start breathing, you stop thinking.” Like taking in air will spread common sense. We all know the obvious places where cell phone use is discouraged (and even illegal). But do you know of the ‘even more obvious’ places? If not, then I’d like to share some of those places, and the scenarios that may ensue, with you. Cell phones should absolutely not be with anyone in the confessional. However, if you, like me, are the type to tempt fate the...