Spring Cleaning...Aid for Domestic Disaster Recovery Relief

I have listened to my motivational tapes, diligently watched the "cleanliness is next to Godliness" infomercials and performed my daily stress reducing yoga, which has eased my mind, but has cause much stress to muscles I haven't used since birthing my children.

I am ready to clean my house, not just 'tidy up' but get into places that haven't seen the light of day since…well, my last bout of ambition. Most would consider this a task to perform during the springtime. However, I am a procrastinator so the deed doesn't get started until late summer.

I admit I am a disaster at domestication. I have not been declared a Federal disaster yet, but I do make such a mess when I try to clean. I am relieved that the cleaning product gurus recognize this crisis. They are now making bazillions of new and improved devices to help me out.

Take Swiffer for example. They have the Sweeper, the Carpet Flick, Swiffer Sweeper+Vac, and for dust, there are Swiffer Dusters. But not just for your home, with the extendable handle to spiffy up places no one's ever going to see, let alone reach with a white glove. They have one for the car. My idea of dusting the car is riding down the highway, really fast, with the windows open thus sucking the crud straight out and making it someone else's problem. This method can also remove bigger particles, like French fries, cheerios, and pet hair. Please, however, safely secure your pets before you open the windows. 

The CarpetFlick baffles me. They say you just flick, trap, and toss and no more crumbs. Well, if the crumbs weren't flicked on the floor in the first place, I'd have no need to trap the children and toss them in the time-out chair.

Now, I do like the Swiffer WetJet, it's not just a mop, but a whole cleaning system. It can remove even the toughest dirt. However, I do have trouble getting it to work right. It won't pick up potato peelings or a one-pound meatloaf. Basically, anything larger than a speck-sized piece of dirt just gets pushed around. This forces me to bully the WetJet apparatus into doing things it was not designed to do, thus, creating another mess.

However, there is the Swiffer Sweeper+Vac, and if done first, before WetJeting, it should eliminate the big stuff from getting jammed into those hard to reach corners, should your pet - namely a loose, lightweight dog - had been unfortunated enough to go for a car ride and is now someone else's canine crumb catcher.

Mostly, I am happy that I only have to go through the ritual once a year. So, each year as 'the cleaning time' approaches, I make a special trip to Walmart in search of the newest and most improved device to aid me with my domestic disaster recovery relief.