Cell Phone Use Discouraged Here
Recently, while I was on my way to someplace (I can’t remember where, but that’s another story), I looked out my car’s window and saw the driver of the car in front of me talking on her cell phone. Apparently, this person is from a different America where cell phone usage and driving, at the SAME time, is acceptable behavior. I would have bet that she’s the kind of person who talks and eats (probably while driving) at the same time.
However, I doubt that she breathes and thinks simultaneously. People probably tell her, “You know the minute you start breathing, you stop thinking.” Like taking in air will spread common sense.
We all know the obvious places where cell phone use is discouraged (and even illegal). But do you know of the ‘even more obvious’ places? If not, then I’d like to share some of those places, and the scenarios that may ensue, with you.
Cell phones should absolutely not be with anyone in the confessional. However, if you, like me, are the type to tempt fate then the scene might go like this:
PRIEST: “My child, what’s up?” or something like that. Please forgive me, readers (for not knowing)…my last confession was….
PHONE: ringing in the tune of Ave Maria
PRIEST: “Hello-lujah”
ME: “If that’s God, tell him I AM here.”
PRIEST: “He wants to talk to you.”
Another place where a cell phone should never be is in the hands of 70-year-old women, named Arlene. Here’s why, and the scene DID go like this:
My 14-year-old, Christian, and I went out to lunch with my mother (a.k.a. Arlene). While waiting for our meal my mother’s cell phone emitted a noise. My totally cool, totally up-with-the-times mother answered it.
MOM: “Hello…HELLO! They’re not answering… hello?…who’s there?…Is someone there?…HELLO!”
Christian relieved my mother of her prank-calling phone and looked at the display.
CHRISTIAN: “Nanny, nobody was on the phone. You have a voice mail.”
ME: (chuckle)
CHRISTIAN: “Your phone will ring with a voice mail tone when someone leaves a message.”
MOM: “Well, why did they leave a message? I said hello.”
ME: (CHUCKLE)
If my husband wasn’t afraid of hospitals, needles, surgery, mice, or snow-blowers, then this scene would not even be a thought in my mind. He would have had the phone removed (but not by a snow-blower).
MY SON: “Where’s Dad?”
Now this could be either son, and they ask this often enough to make me feel utterly pathetic.
ME: “He’s in the shower. Why don’t you give him a call?”
IN THE DISTANCE: “Hello?”
MY SON: “Nanny answered. I left a message.”
So, there you have it. I believe I have clearly illustrated what could happen if basic common sense is ignored or if that woman, the one who used her phone while driving, continues to breathe.
However, I doubt that she breathes and thinks simultaneously. People probably tell her, “You know the minute you start breathing, you stop thinking.” Like taking in air will spread common sense.
We all know the obvious places where cell phone use is discouraged (and even illegal). But do you know of the ‘even more obvious’ places? If not, then I’d like to share some of those places, and the scenarios that may ensue, with you.
Cell phones should absolutely not be with anyone in the confessional. However, if you, like me, are the type to tempt fate then the scene might go like this:
PRIEST: “My child, what’s up?” or something like that. Please forgive me, readers (for not knowing)…my last confession was….
PHONE: ringing in the tune of Ave Maria
PRIEST: “Hello-lujah”
ME: “If that’s God, tell him I AM here.”
PRIEST: “He wants to talk to you.”
Another place where a cell phone should never be is in the hands of 70-year-old women, named Arlene. Here’s why, and the scene DID go like this:
My 14-year-old, Christian, and I went out to lunch with my mother (a.k.a. Arlene). While waiting for our meal my mother’s cell phone emitted a noise. My totally cool, totally up-with-the-times mother answered it.
MOM: “Hello…HELLO! They’re not answering… hello?…who’s there?…Is someone there?…HELLO!”
Christian relieved my mother of her prank-calling phone and looked at the display.
CHRISTIAN: “Nanny, nobody was on the phone. You have a voice mail.”
ME: (chuckle)
CHRISTIAN: “Your phone will ring with a voice mail tone when someone leaves a message.”
MOM: “Well, why did they leave a message? I said hello.”
ME: (CHUCKLE)
If my husband wasn’t afraid of hospitals, needles, surgery, mice, or snow-blowers, then this scene would not even be a thought in my mind. He would have had the phone removed (but not by a snow-blower).
MY SON: “Where’s Dad?”
Now this could be either son, and they ask this often enough to make me feel utterly pathetic.
ME: “He’s in the shower. Why don’t you give him a call?”
IN THE DISTANCE: “Hello?”
MY SON: “Nanny answered. I left a message.”
So, there you have it. I believe I have clearly illustrated what could happen if basic common sense is ignored or if that woman, the one who used her phone while driving, continues to breathe.
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